I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
