The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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