I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
