what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
