another moral hangover. fuck.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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