Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
