I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
