I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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