Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
