I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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