So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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