We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
