Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
