We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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