her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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