i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
