I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
