It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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