You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
please don't ironically join a cult
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