i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
