thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
