U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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