in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Someone came in the potted fern
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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