but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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