We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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