can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
