This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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