Have you finally orgasmed yet?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
