Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Even my vagina gasped.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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