So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
