I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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