So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
