"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
