dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
