And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
