So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
