I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
