Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize