She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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