i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
