i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
did i walk over a car last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
