There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
