you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
