There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
