we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
