You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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