i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
