im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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