dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
