I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
