News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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